Friday, January 28, 2011

7 Ways to Avoid Getting Your Car Keyed; Fabulous Florida Spring Break 2007

I learned a few important lessons in Cocoa Beach, Florida when my car was keyed during spring break 2007. I thought that I would share these with you, enjoy!

I would like to dedicate this post to the girls - "The Chosen Path Revealed; Epic Spring Break Adventure." Thank you for pushing me to call the cops and sitting on the corner curb with me to wait for them! It only took them 30 minutes to finally show up!  Of course while I was talking to the cop, the girls were chatting to some cute Navy boys and planning our night! Good times!

How to Avoid Getting Your Car Keyed During Spring Break:

  • 1.        Plan on driving to a popular spring break location, which the parking lot or parking spot where you park has a camera. Most hotels have cameras nearby and if they do not, then find another spot! I realize that in the whole state of Florida it sometimes can be hard to find a magical, lit, and comfortable spot to park in; however, it can be done! Most of the 3-4 star hotels have lighting and a security guard nearby. 
  • 2.        Check your college football team stats before you drive your “precious” car to your spring break destination. During the past year of 2006 the Pennsylvania State University crushed Florida State University in the Orange Bowl, which was held in Miami Gardens, Florida. Since my college beat them the year before, they must have been really upset! Talk about a long time to hold a grudge!
  • 3.        Resist from being a smart ass! If you are playing beach volleyball against a larger group of rivals who keep chanting how badly your college football was the previous year (even though this was bogus!), then politely smile and avoid any smart comments to the opposing team. Sooner or later they will start challenging each other to a “friendly” drinking game aka chugging a whole can of beer in one gulp. The focus will be off of your college and onto a new topic, “How many beers can I drink in 2 minutes?” This could lead to a quick beach volleyball game, since the other team has “passed” out. Just think how great it would if a dog came up and did its business on them! No words needed, priceless.
  • 4.        Find a parking place that is located close to the beach, maybe in eye sight of where you and your friends are hanging out. It is always important to make sure that your “pride and joy” is out of harm’s way. A car alarm would surely help this situation! Be aware the occasional spring breaker may come and do his business (yes, usually this is a guy!) right next to your car. If he is taking a while and eying up your car, then politely ask one of your muscle head guy friends to go assess the situation. If you are only with girls, find a really hot big “muscled” man (preferably with a group of other hot men) and ask for him to respectfully remove the man away from your car. If you are with a wimpy guy and/or there are no hot guys around, then you and your girlfriends march up to him and courteously tell him to go to a different location. If he is giving you a hard time, then show him that you mean business by posing in your best karate move position!
  • 5.        Avoid at all costs being a smart ass, but if you happen to layer the smart ass comments on a little thick then you should have a backup plan. If you and your girlfriends happen to smash the opposing team, then weigh out the following options. A) Drinks are involved; rowdiness may occur and more trash talk will be spitting out of their mouths. Do not panic, just smile and nod and think to yourself how would anyone find these guys attractive?!? Do laugh hysterically with your girlfriends as you are trying to decide which one is the alpha male. If they walk towards your car, do follow closely behind and predict their every move. B) If drinks are not involved and you and your girlfriends beat them, closely watch what they are doing and listen to what they are talking about. The mistake that the girls and I made was that we were too busy giggling about our planned itinerary for the week instead of listening to what the group of guys was quietly whispering.
  • 6.        Remove your college stickers before you road trip to your spring break desired location. This would eliminate all worst case scenarios and in the end will make you have an awesome spring break! The great thing about adhesive window decals is that most of them are easily removable, if they are not then head down to the local “Auto Zone” and purchase some adhesive remover. Better yet, the old razor blade trick works just as well. Decals are really cheap, maybe next time you decide to buy a few stickers for your ride, pick up some extras.
  • 7.        Take a “party” bus to your spring break location. Avoid driving all together! This would help you and your girlfriends make new friends and plan the party as it comes. Any slight of discomfort about leaving a vehicle behind is out of your worries. Also, this would save you from a situation of “drinking and driving;” if you are idiotic enough to do this in the first place!

Penn State Football Crowd; University Park, Pennsylvania 11.2006

I hope this helps you to avoid the situation that my girlfriends and I were in. The first mistake tied into with the location where we parked my car. Not only did we park in a non-lit parking spot, but it also turned out to be the only place on the entire side street that did not have a camera installed next to it. The next mistake we executed was that we were not paying attention to what the “drunken hot boys” were saying; we were mainly focused on ourselves and wrapped into our own conversation. The third mistake we created was that my car was never fully in eye sight of the girls and I while we were hanging out and playing beach volleyball. The last mistake that we made was that I did not carefully remove my PSU decals before we left. My car lit up like a PSU Christmas tree! My sorority sticker: Phi Mu was inside the glass (thank goodness!), but all of my other stickers on my car were ripped and torn next to my car. Of course, with the lovely key indentation markings formed on my car, you can also add a 4 inch knife blade that was conveniently scratched into my driver and passenger door panels.

Remember to have a fabulous spring break, but be cautious about your environment and your car’s surroundings. A few extra steps taken from this list and few added precautions will eradicate the hassle of waiting for a cop for 30 minutes. In the meantime, you could have been hanging out with the cute six-pack shaped boys on the beach!