Defining “True” Friendship; Blended to Perfection: Spring Break 2008

My Senior Year Picture; Rockwood, Pennsylvania 02.2001

Quick recap: Just finished my 6 week project on the Viking Vision, had an awesome crew change, spent the night in New Orleans on Bourbon Street, and finally headed home to make plans for some of my college buddies arrival. 

Synnove, me, Pete, Darcy, and Silje; New Orleans, Louisiana 02.2008

We have all heard of the saying, “Good friends are hard to find.” Have you actually ever taken the time and realized how true this quote is? I never thought about the significance of this quote until I left college. I had been fortunate in high school to make as many “good” friends as I did through varsity sports and other social functions. In college I joined a sisterhood, played on numerous intramural sports teams, and starred as Penn State’s leading first baseman, which then at that time it was easy to make “good” friends – “5 All-Time Favorite Memories at PSU; Good Times with Amazing People.”  Even in my Marine Biology field working offshore I met some amazing people, who I had become really close with and defined as “good” friends  – "New Friendships Created; Reuniting Old Ones”  and “Excellent First Impressions; a Guide on How to Give Great, Not Just Good Impressions.”

Synnove, me, Pete, and Silje; New Orleans, Louisiana 02.2008

Not to mention the awesome relationship that I have with my hometown best friends Elaina Peck and Stephanie Van Damme that was developed in my childhood years. These two characterized the “true” meaning of friendship and set my expectations on what the value of a friendship is worth. When I had begun my journey of relocating to a new state, moving into a recently renovated condominium, and calling a beach inspired town my home, I had never dreamt of how hard it would be to make friends, let alone “good” friends. I am sure my unique lifestyle did not help my situation much both considering I worked a lot and barely was around to form any special bonds. When I was getting ready to leave the Viking Vision I realized that I had no one to chill with when I was home. My college mates were discussing their plans for spring break 2008 and instantaneously we all had the same idea that they should come down and visit me. I promised one of my best friends Leslie that she could come down for her spring break when I had to cancel our plans due to work – “The World of Manatees; Protection of Impact on Marine Life and Wildlife." I called a few of my “good” friends at PSU and invited them down to visit me for their spring break 2008. 

Elaina and I; Rockwood, Pennsylvania 08.2008

I had three girls come stay with me in Florida and I had planned a week of activities for the duration of their visit. All of the girls were “good” friends of mine from PSU - Leslie, Jenna, and midget Megan were all spending their Spring Break 2008 with me. Unlike spring break 2007 – “The Chosen Path Revealed; Epic Spring Break Adventure” there were no cop cars involved and certainly no random encounters with Navy boys! This spring break was very mellow; I definitely needed this after working a great deal on the ocean. It was nice to have the girls down; we spent a substantial amount of time talking and laying out on the beach. It was at this time when I was reminded of what “true” friendship and “good” friends actually were. 

During the time of the girl’s visit, we did not have much of an itinerary planned. Everything pieced together, the girl’s visited the places that they wanted to go (including Fort Lauderdale), and we all thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. Midget Megan was looking into working for my company since she and I were in the same field at PSU. Jenna was trying to figure out which nearby Florida beach town was a good location for her to do her doctorate program in Physical Therapy. On the other hand, Leslie focused on finishing her senior year of college and she wanted to relax at the beach with no worries running through her head. 

I remember one particular night where all of us were together and we discussed how important friendship was to each of us. I will never forget this conversation, because this is when I had begun to understand that it was natural to have a handful of “good” friends. As I looked at each of them I appreciated that I gave them a chance and opened my soul to them. I will never disregard those individuals that came into my life and positively impacted in some way. After all, is it not important to have friends surrounding you that are positive influences and only have your best interest at heart? 

My Mom and Stephanie; Bakersville, Pennsylvania 08.2007

 
Right before the girl’s left; I introduced them to the new guy that I had started dating shortly before they arrived. A handsome Romanian, Adrian, with an inspiration for Classical music and teaching little kids how to play musical instruments at a school nearby made quite the impression on the girls and he got my “good” friends approval stamps! After the girl’s flew back to Pennsylvania I recapped the spring break trip that we had together. I realized that each of these connections that I had with these girls aka “good” friends were formed out of a “true” friendship. Referring back to the earlier statement, “Good friends are hard to find!” Treasure the value of friendship and open your heart and soul to those that deserve it.

Elaina and Jake; Rockwood, Pennsylvania 08.2008

How to Define a “Good” Friend:

Along with one of my favorite Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes – “A Voyage of Self-Discovery; Persistence of a Dream,” a few of my recently favored friendship quotes are, “The only way to have a friend is to be one” and “A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.” In retrospect, a friendship is one of the most valuable relationships that can be formed between two human beings. I have reflected on my “good” friends from my childhood, high school, college, and now within my professional field. I have compiled a list of what I think a “true” friendship is. It is times like these when I am sitting on the ocean hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles away from my “good” friends that I find security in knowing that they are thinking of me in the same moment that I am thinking of them.

Jenna, me, Leslie, and Meg; Fort Lauderdale, Florida 03.2008

“True” Friendships Revealed:

Trust – If you ever had fallen in a heap of trouble, your friend would be there in an instant. They would not question you right away; they would support you, and ask questions later after your trouble free. This kind of friendship thrives on comfort, inspiration, and trust.

Distance – From my personal experiences, this is one of the greatest factors that pop into my friendships. How to endure a long distance friendship? It does not matter if you talk every day, once a week, twice a month, or even three times a year; bottom line is that whenever you talk or see each other again, you pick up right where you left off. Geographical separation is just a part of life and both you and your friend understand this. Distance may get in the way, but it never fades your friendship; it only grows better with time. In other words, friendships can grow separately, without ever growing apart. After all, this is the beauty of friendship. 

Qualities – Just like you get into a serious relationship and take your significant other’s flaws, as well as their accomplishments; the same occurs when you accept your friend’s positive and negative qualities. Having a friend you know each other’s strengths and weaknesses – nothing is hidden. Most importantly, you respect each other’s individuality.

Selflessness – Friends help because they want to, not because they have to. Your friend wants only the best for you and at any specific times may help you reach your goals by giving you confidence and supporting you all the way 100%. Friends look out for your greatest interest and will remind you constantly how proud they are of you. When the whole world has turned its back on you, your friend has not. 

Jenna and I; Fort Lauderdale, Florida 03.2008

Principles – I have a handful of “good” friends who I would call as my inspirations in life. These are the type of people that you idolize, admire, and only want the best for. Your friend conducts themselves by the standard, morals, and ideals that promote the definition of what it is to be a human being. With these principles come kindness, compassion, selflessness, and motivation. These traits are extremely hard to find, but once you do they certainly are a treasure that is worth discovering. Sometimes we are not aware of who our “good” friends are until the moment strikes in life where we need friends the most and those that surround us are the people who love us. Through my “near-death” experience in a car crash where I totaled my car in the fall of 2001 I had quickly learned this lesson. I woke up to find an individual that I had not yet defined as a “good” friend. As she visited me in the hospital that weekend, more than my parents did, I quickly came to the realization that she was indeed a “good” friend, if not a “best” friend.

Confidence – As I mentioned earlier, when the whole world has turned their back on you, it is important to remember that your friend has not. A “true” friendship will always believe in you, in the times that you may not believe in yourself. Your friend will constantly bring out the best in you.

Time – Have you ever had a friend not be able to make time for you? Better question, have you ever had a “good” or “best” friend not be able to make time for you?  I have been dealt this situation a few times with my friends when I return to my hometown. My immediate reaction to this is that it is equally important that my friends (who say they are my friends) meet me half way. I find it sometimes irritating that I drive all over the place to visit my friends when in reality I should be home spending time with my family who I only see once a year. I have discovered a set of my “good” friends will make time for me and go out of their way to visit me while I am in town. The most valuable gift you can give to a “good” friend is your time. Time is something that you can never buy nor take back. The moment an individual shared their time with you, they have shared a part of their life with you.

Leslie and I; Fort Lauderdale, Florida 03.2008

Respecting “True” Friendships:

There are probably hundreds of other characteristics that define what a “true” friendship is, but I have provided you my personal collection that I desire in my friendships. Remember, all “best” friends are friends, but not are friends are “best “friends. The same is in relation with a “good” friend. Lifetime “good” friends are rare, but even if you have one “good” friend consider yourself fortunate. There are so many different types of people that we come across in our daily lives; for those that remain by our side through thick and thin, these are the people that should be recognized and respected for being “best” friends. In spite of everything, your"best" friends are your biggest supporters.

The Study of “True” Friendship and its Meaning:

The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

A Few Anonymous Quotes Based on the Value of Friendships:

"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same."

"Wherever you may be it is your friends who make your world."



 

Me and Rusty (Snowboard); Rockwood, Pennsylvania 02.2001

7 Ways to Avoid Getting Your Car Keyed; Fabulous Florida Spring Break 2007

I learned a few important lessons in Cocoa Beach, Florida when my car was keyed during spring break 2007. I thought that I would share these with you, enjoy!

I would like to dedicate this post to the girls - "The Chosen Path Revealed; Epic Spring Break Adventure." Thank you for pushing me to call the cops and sitting on the corner curb with me to wait for them! It only took them 30 minutes to finally show up!  Of course while I was talking to the cop, the girls were chatting to some cute Navy boys and planning our night! Good times!

How to Avoid Getting Your Car Keyed During Spring Break:

• 1.        Plan on driving to a popular spring break location, which the parking lot or parking spot where you park has a camera. Most hotels have cameras nearby and if they do not, then find another spot! I realize that in the whole state of Florida it sometimes can be hard to find a magical, lit, and comfortable spot to park in; however, it can be done! Most of the 3-4 star hotels have lighting and a security guard nearby. 
  

• 2.        Check your college football team stats before you drive your “precious” car to your spring break destination. During the past year of 2006 the Pennsylvania State University crushed Florida State University in the Orange Bowl, which was held in Miami Gardens, Florida. Since my college beat them the year before, they must have been really upset! Talk about a long time to hold a grudge!

• 3.        Resist from being a smart ass! If you are playing beach volleyball against a larger group of rivals who keep chanting how badly your college football was the previous year (even though this was bogus!), then politely smile and avoid any smart comments to the opposing team. Sooner or later they will start challenging each other to a “friendly” drinking game aka chugging a whole can of beer in one gulp. The focus will be off of your college and onto a new topic, “How many beers can I drink in 2 minutes?” This could lead to a quick beach volleyball game, since the other team has “passed” out. Just think how great it would if a dog came up and did its business on them! No words needed, priceless.

• 4.        Find a parking place that is located close to the beach, maybe in eye sight of where you and your friends are hanging out. It is always important to make sure that your “pride and joy” is out of harm’s way. A car alarm would surely help this situation! Be aware the occasional spring breaker may come and do his business (yes, usually this is a guy!) right next to your car. If he is taking a while and eying up your car, then politely ask one of your muscle head guy friends to go assess the situation. If you are only with girls, find a really hot big “muscled” man (preferably with a group of other hot men) and ask for him to respectfully remove the man away from your car. If you are with a wimpy guy and/or there are no hot guys around, then you and your girlfriends march up to him and courteously tell him to go to a different location. If he is giving you a hard time, then show him that you mean business by posing in your best karate move position!

• 5.        Avoid at all costs being a smart ass, but if you happen to layer the smart ass comments on a little thick then you should have a backup plan. If you and your girlfriends happen to smash the opposing team, then weigh out the following options. A) Drinks are involved; rowdiness may occur and more trash talk will be spitting out of their mouths. Do not panic, just smile and nod and think to yourself how would anyone find these guys attractive?!? Do laugh hysterically with your girlfriends as you are trying to decide which one is the alpha male. If they walk towards your car, do follow closely behind and predict their every move. B) If drinks are not involved and you and your girlfriends beat them, closely watch what they are doing and listen to what they are talking about. The mistake that the girls and I made was that we were too busy giggling about our planned itinerary for the week instead of listening to what the group of guys was quietly whispering.

• 6.        Remove your college stickers before you road trip to your spring break desired location. This would eliminate all worst case scenarios and in the end will make you have an awesome spring break! The great thing about adhesive window decals is that most of them are easily removable, if they are not then head down to the local “Auto Zone” and purchase some adhesive remover. Better yet, the old razor blade trick works just as well. Decals are really cheap, maybe next time you decide to buy a few stickers for your ride, pick up some extras.

• 7.        Take a “party” bus to your spring break location. Avoid driving all together! This would help you and your girlfriends make new friends and plan the party as it comes. Any slight of discomfort about leaving a vehicle behind is out of your worries. Also, this would save you from a situation of “drinking and driving;” if you are idiotic enough to do this in the first place!

Penn State Football Crowd; University Park, Pennsylvania 11.2006

I hope this helps you to avoid the situation that my girlfriends and I were in. The first mistake tied into with the location where we parked my car. Not only did we park in a non-lit parking spot, but it also turned out to be the only place on the entire side street that did not have a camera installed next to it. The next mistake we executed was that we were not paying attention to what the “drunken hot boys” were saying; we were mainly focused on ourselves and wrapped into our own conversation. The third mistake we created was that my car was never fully in eye sight of the girls and I while we were hanging out and playing beach volleyball. The last mistake that we made was that I did not carefully remove my PSU decals before we left. My car lit up like a PSU Christmas tree! My sorority sticker: Phi Mu was inside the glass (thank goodness!), but all of my other stickers on my car were ripped and torn next to my car. Of course, with the lovely key indentation markings formed on my car, you can also add a 4 inch knife blade that was conveniently scratched into my driver and passenger door panels.

Remember to have a fabulous spring break, but be cautious about your environment and your car’s surroundings. A few extra steps taken from this list and few added precautions will eradicate the hassle of waiting for a cop for 30 minutes. In the meantime, you could have been hanging out with the cute six-pack shaped boys on the beach!

The Chosen Path Revealed; Epic Spring Break Adventure

The Girls: Shannon, Me, Anjoli, Lindsay, and Troxler; Cocoa Beach, Florida 03.2007

In the beginning of building this site I have given you some background information on how my interest evolved in Marine Biology over the earlier years of my life. I am sure that more articles will appear in the future, but for now it is time to reveal the chosen path that has led me to where I am now. 

During 2007 I was faced with one of the most important decisions in my life. “Where do I go from here?” I was in my super senior year (I love this term!) and was pursing my Wildlife & Fishery Science degree: Fishery Option and two minors in Biology and Marine Science.  Not to mention that I was in a Panhellenic Sorority: Phi Mu. I was desperately looking for a connection to place me in the field of my interest. I even contemplated asking my sorority sisters if they knew any Phi Mu alumna in the Environmental Field. I was determined to find a “real” job outside of Pennsylvania. I was not 100% sure where to start applying first, but I thought that I would start with Florida. I needed to find a way to place my foot in the door. I was hoping that all the sorority community events, clubs that I participated in, and “hands on experience” projects that I accumulated during my undergrad would help me land an amazing job opportunity in the Marine Field. 

I became really focused that year emailing research companies worldwide; I even applied to a few in the UK. I was not receiving many responses, but I was determined to not give up! I knew that if I could just get 1 interview out of the 50 that I was applying for, then I would be one step closer to reaching my ultimate goal: Become a successful international field Marine Biologist. Of course, this is a lot easier said than done! Lucky for me and my fellow PSU classmates’ spring break was coming up right around the corner! I juggled several “typical” spring break locations back and forth; trying to decide where my good friends and I wanted to travel to. Before spring break arrived, I spent the previous month emailing more companies and attempting to answer the life-puzzling question that seemed to haunt me. “Where do I go from here?” Should I inquire about a job with the Fish & Game Commission in Pennsylvania or could I challenge myself to work and live on the West Coast for a few years?   

The girls - Shannon, Anjoli, Lindsay, Troxler, and I decided on a warm tropical location and a place where you can have beach, beer, and sand literally at your fingertips! As they were determining the destination for spring break, I was busy emailing Florida Environmental companies and trying to set up some interviews for my birthday month of May. Ironically, all of my replies regarding interview dates were located in Florida and the girls’ final decision on where they wanted to spend their spring break... FLORIDA! I penciled in 4 interviews during our spring break and starting making final preparations for the big road trip! I found myself driving my black 2 door 97’ Honda Civic with 4 other girls riding with me and luggage packed in every corner of my car! To this day, I still have no idea how you can comfortably fit 3 girls in the back seat of that tiny “sporty” Civic?  I suppose we were all filled with a drive for adrenaline! Needless to say, this would be an epic adventure! D The girls and I drove 18 hours to arrive in the city of Cocoa, Florida. My uncle Matt lived in Cocoa and we decided to stay with him for the first 2 days of our trip. 

As soon as we arrived at my uncle’s place, we ran inside and immediately freshened up to hit the beach! I recall 4 red bulls later, 0 hours of sleep (we were all too excited to sleep as soon as we entered Florida state!), and sheer adrenaline pumping out of my system crammed with excitement. The girls already jam packed themselves in my car again and were anxiously awaiting our trip to Cocoa Beach, Florida; this was about 20 minutes down the road. I knew I had several interviews in the morning and one of the offices was located pretty close to where I was. I convinced the girls to come with me and double check my interview time for my first morning appointment at Ecoes Environmental Consulting. To my surprise, I pulled into a small brown complex with various little shops surrounding some trees in the parking lot. I noticed a woman standing behind the trunk of her van pulling out some boxes. The girls decided to check out the surf and ice cream shops nearby; I headed towards the woman to ask her where Ecoes was located. While I made my way to her direction to politely ask where the office was located, I thought to myself how great it would be to live down here. My uncle is literally right down the street and the beach is only a few minutes away. I would love to live near the beach and see the incredible sunrises over the powerful blue ocean… I have longed for this moment. I would definitely be in heaven! 

I finally reached the woman and asked about the office location. As she was picking up the last box she mentioned that she was headed to the Ecoes building.  She quickly put down the boxes and introduced herself as Mary Jo the owner of Ecoes Consulting! You should have seen the look on my face; I did not know whether to smile or kick myself in the butt for not knowing this sooner! Either way, I tried to make the best first impression. I was about to mention my name when she said, “You must be Jessica Benford from the Pennsylvania State University, from the sound of your emails you want to become a respectable Marine Biologist.” I quickly felt my heart sink into my chest; how did this woman know who I was? Better yet, how did she remember my name? I felt a huge grin on my face as I replied, “Wow, it is great to finally meet you.” She gave me a huge smile back and asked if I would accompany to her office. I asked to carry one of her boxes, which seemed to please her. We walked towards her small corner office and I placed the boxes on the desk. I looked around and saw a few articles of Marine Mammals hanging on the wall. In the corner I recognized a large projector screen that dropped down next to what appeared to be a classroom. I thanked Mary Jo for taking the time to let me see her office. As I was about to turn around and head outside, she told me to call her MJ and if I had a few more minutes to discuss the position that she had offered me. At this point, I was ecstatic! I felt like a kid on Christmas morning that discovered her first toy (the kind of toy that you “actually” wanted!).

Celebration Drinks at Local Pub; Cocoa Beach, Florida 03.2007

I explained that I have some friends waiting outside and that if I could go tell them that I would be a few minutes, then I would love to sit down and talk with her about the job opportunity.  She agreed; I ran outside with this massive grin on my face and a brush of exhilaration overcoming my body. It took a minute or two to catch my breath; I then explained to the girls that I need a few more minutes with MJ. They all seemed to look at me quite puzzling and asked all at once, “Who’s MJ?” As I took off towards the office and rounded the tree hanging next to the sidewalk, I yelled back, “I will tell you later!” I reached the office and MJ had opened the door for me. I noticed a series of papers sitting on the desk. Here I am dressed in flip flops, board shorts, and a tank top about ready to be interviewed by a woman company owner and well-respected Marine Biologist who actively participates in Endangered Species Conservation for the United States. I excused my wardrobe as she chuckled and expressed that it was the perfect outfit for this job. I did not know quite what to think about that, but I sat down and eagerly looked forward to our discussion. 

MJ pulled out my recent CV that I emailed her a few days ago. As she was skimming through it, she made a few great comments under her breath. After we talked for 15-20 minutes, she printed a document off of her computer and asked me to read over it quickly. The first line read, “WELCOME TO ECOES ENVIRONMENTAL CONSULTING, YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO WORK FOR THE OIL & GAS INDUSTRY ON VARIOUS PROJECTS WORLDWIDE!” I almost fell out of my chair! Seriously, am I being hired as a Marine Mammal Scientist? Did I just get this job? Does this mean that I am moving to Florida? MJ gazed upon me and asked me what I thought about this position. I responded in a very enthusiastic voice, “I would thoroughly enjoy working for you and your company.” She seemed really pleased with my answer. We discussed my starting date, my potential moving date to Florida, my job description in further detail, and the date of my graduation from PSU. I could not believe that I was presented a job on the spot! This NEVER happens to me! Random fact, I worked for my grandfather’s restaurant in Pennsylvania and he did not offer me the job right away; he called me a few days later to tell me that I could start working for him! 

 

A Local Pub near the Beach; Cocoa Beach, Florida 03.2007

After MJ and I had finished our discussion, I thanked her many times before walking out of her office. We both agreed to keep in touch and her final words to me were, “I look forward to having you on my team.” What a great morning! A rush of emotions of enthusiasm and happiness seemed to take over my body and all hit me at once. I found the girls eating ice cream next to my car. I excitedly starting jumping up and down; their faces were priceless! I told them the good news and they started jumping around the parking lot with me! I remember the girls saying how proud they were of me; which showed me the tremendous support and great friends that I have in my life.  We drove to Cocoa Beach and grabbed a parking spot in front of a local surf shop. We decided to celebrate spring break PSU style! Beach, beer, sand, and volleyball were all involved; it was a great afternoon. I called all of my friends and family back home spreading the good news. One important moment that I remember within the mist of all the excitement was the phone call I had with my mom. I am glancing at the ocean, listening to the waves crash into the rocks, and hypnotized in a mental stage of utter bliss. This would be the new place that I would soon call home. I finally knew “Where I am going from here!”

 

  

Police to the Rescue; Cocoa Beach, Florida 03.2007

Quick recap of Spring Break: Ironically, I met my “future” roommate playing beach volleyball; Matt worked for the Kennedy Space Center and was looking to fill his extra room in his condo for the summer. Disneyland, Fort Lauderdale (or my personal favorite Fort Liquordale), and Jacksonville were all part of the girls and I’s “typical” spring break. We all had a fabulous time, especially with the never ending celebration week of my Marine Biologist position in Florida! In the end I decided to cancel all other interviews that I had originally planned and accepted MJ’s offer that week in Florida. Despite the unfortunate event of spring break – my car was keyed due to the coverage of PSU stickers on it (least this is what the cop said), it was an epic spring break and one that will be remembered for the rest of my life.